Monday, March 25, 2013

2-12-13 to 3-24-13

41 days is not a long time, but it's the time that Preston was here with us.  I saw him 3 times, so sweet and tiny.  I wanted to touch him so badly!  Thank you Lord for our time with him and thank you he is in your presence now!

Thursday, March 21, 2013


 I've been wanting to post for months and haven't.  Just a few moments ago I had that thought, "you need to write on your blog".  And then the other thought happened, "I don't have the perfect picture and there's too much that's happened and I can't even begin to write it all."  Then I realized that I was doing what I complain (in my head to myself) about to those whom are perfectionists.  NOBODY that knows me would EVER use that term to describe me so here I am creating an imperfect post!

Everything in me feels heavy today.  My Great Nephew (I can't be that old) Preston was born at 23 weeks on February 12th.  Smashed right between Thea and my sister Christy (who he will affectionately refer to as YA YA or Heem).  This sweet baby has been born with a whole bucket full of physical delays.  Today Holly and Taylor (baby P's mom and dad) received the unhappy results of his MRI.

"Lissencephaly (sp), neurons are grouped rather than spread out, high risk of Epilepsy, will likely never reach common milestones of walking and talking"

How does any parent process this information?  How do doctors deliver this kind of news every day without mentally breaking down?

This is only the second time in my lifetime I've had to experience serious health complications with a family member.  In 2006 my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor and in less than a week of diagnosis he was on an operating table and we had no assurance of good to come of it.  The prognosis was he could die, he could survive, he may survive and never be the same, and on and on.  I was pregnant with Sawyer, my first born, and was feeling sad that my little one may not ever know my dad.  

It was almost like an out of body experience standing in the hospital room pretty much telling Dad bye just in case things didn't go well.  He was definitely ready for the leaving or staying but it wasn't easy to come to that myself.  And we are a family of criers, thank you Grandma, so we were pretty scary to outsiders watching!

Now baby Preston is here 6 years later.  It's a very different situation but the unknown is still just as frustrating!  So, we continue to pray with everything in us that God works in Preston, all of us, and anyone who comes in contact with his story or presence.  

Thank you God for being in control and help us to let go of control and trust in your faithfulness, grace, mercy, love, and peace!