Preston

 I've been wanting to post for months and haven't.  Just a few moments ago I had that thought, "you need to write on your blog".  And then the other thought happened, "I don't have the perfect picture and there's too much that's happened and I can't even begin to write it all."  Then I realized that I was doing what I complain (in my head to myself) about to those whom are perfectionists.  NOBODY that knows me would EVER use that term to describe me so here I am creating an imperfect post!

Everything in me feels heavy today.  My Great Nephew (I can't be that old) Preston was born at 23 weeks on February 12th.  Smashed right between Thea and my sister Christy (who he will affectionately refer to as YA YA or Heem).  This sweet baby has been born with a whole bucket full of physical delays.  Today Holly and Taylor (baby P's mom and dad) received the unhappy results of his MRI.

"Lissencephaly (sp), neurons are grouped rather than spread out, high risk of Epilepsy, will likely never reach common milestones of walking and talking"

How does any parent process this information?  How do doctors deliver this kind of news every day without mentally breaking down?

This is only the second time in my lifetime I've had to experience serious health complications with a family member.  In 2006 my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor and in less than a week of diagnosis he was on an operating table and we had no assurance of good to come of it.  The prognosis was he could die, he could survive, he may survive and never be the same, and on and on.  I was pregnant with Sawyer, my first born, and was feeling sad that my little one may not ever know my dad.  

It was almost like an out of body experience standing in the hospital room pretty much telling Dad bye just in case things didn't go well.  He was definitely ready for the leaving or staying but it wasn't easy to come to that myself.  And we are a family of criers, thank you Grandma, so we were pretty scary to outsiders watching!

Now baby Preston is here 6 years later.  It's a very different situation but the unknown is still just as frustrating!  So, we continue to pray with everything in us that God works in Preston, all of us, and anyone who comes in contact with his story or presence.  

Thank you God for being in control and help us to let go of control and trust in your faithfulness, grace, mercy, love, and peace!

Race Day's A Comin'

I did something yesterday I thought I would never do.  I officially registered for a 1/2 marathon.  It's not that I thought I would never run 13.1 miles at one time, but it's the "OFFICIAL" race thing. 

Running has been a part of my life since I was 13 years old.  My mom was a speed walker and I could never keep up and still can't keep up with walkers, so I ran.  I ran for sports conditioning and I ran for fun.  When I say "run" I use that term loosely.  There are many walkers who go faster than my running pace, just ask my Tuesday/Wednesday workout buddy!  Nevertheless it is some form of running:)

In February my sister, Joan, says to me, "do you like to run?".  And again my response, "I don't like to walk, so I run".  And she proceeds to remind me that she's been wanting to do a 1/2 marathon and at that moment out of postpartum insanity I said, "I'll do it with you"!  That's the moment the words fall out of your mouth and the rest of you is screaming You Are Craaazy!

Up until a couple of weeks ago I never understood the hype of all these people running 5K, 10K, 1/2 marathon races.  It was as if all of a sudden there has been this huge boom of "I run races".  And I sat thinking, "I've run for years what's the big deal?".  Now I get it.

The hype is about setting a crazy goal, disciplining yourself to accomplish each step, and growing in character for the baby steps accomplished.  In turn getting back in shape after 3 kids!  Even more exciting, my middle sister who doesn't even like the word exercise is joining us!  I'm actually getting excited every time I go out to run instead of doing it out of the mind set- I've got to get in shape.  

The best part about joining the racing world is that it makes me more disciplined in training my heart.  This is definitely a goal I can't accomplish without God's intervention and I find myself pouring into the Word more and being much more diligent about loosing myself and listening to Him in every aspect of my day.

Now to complete the K's..5K, 8K, 10K and then the big day Saturday, December 1st St. Jude 1/2 marathon.  I can't wait to experience what's to come.  Lord give me endurance!

Mondays, enough said

When I was working full time I dreaded Mondays more than any day of the week.  You'd think being at home on Mondays would change that.  Today I was reminded that's not always so.   Here are the positives so far..
Everyone slept all night, hooray!
Started my new devotional series with obu girlz in the morning:)
Made an important phone call
Made it on time for Monday conference call
Paid a bill
Let boys play in the mud
Did core and strength training for 15 interrupted minutes
Knox finally goes to sleep

Now the frustrations italicized along with the positives:

Everyone slept all night, hooray!
Started my new devotional series with obu girlz in the morning:)
Thea wakes up and still hasn't pooped in 2 days
Made an important phone call
Boys are fighting
Made it on time for Monday conference call
Way behind on team goals for the month
Paid a bill
Thea can't rest b/c of gas
Let boys play in the mud
Ants everywhere in the bathroom
Knox won't eat what I gave him for lunch and we have a 15 minute stand off 
Sawyer and I read and talk more about the story of Joseph in Genesis
Knox hits Sawyer in the head with a tripod
Ryan calls about a bill not paid that terminates coverage today
Drank lots of water

Ate only 2 cookies instead of a whole bag because I was getting stresssed
Did core and strength training for 15 interrupted minutes
Knox won't go to sleep, crying, finally stopped workout to check on him and he's taken his diaper off and pottied in his bed, lovely
Get back to work out
and Thea wakes up again with gas
Knox finally goes to sleep
Sawyer wakes up
God reminds me of what I asked for this morning.
3 loads of laundry still to fold

Seeing this in writing helps me understand that in the whole scheme of everyone's world, my frustrations are sooo minor.  And I actually asked for it this morning in my time in the Word and prayer.  I asked for an unsettling in my heart to have more compassion on others.  And He gave it to me starting right at home with my kiddos!

This day isn't over and who knows what else will be frustrating, but I know that God hears me, comforts me, and tests me to get me closer to him.  I might even be able to say at the end of the day to Ryan, "Did you have a good Monday?  We did:)"

Hebrews 1:3  The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.  After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.

If you don't get how this verse applies to my day it's OK because I didn't understand it at first until I looked at the words that stood out.  Enjoy breaking it down for yourself!

New Additions: Welcome baby Thea (AKA Bee-uh)

On February 11th around 11:52 p.m.

 Thea Grace Hillman came into this world with a 

head full of hair!

Thea Grace Hillman, 2 weeks old, photo by Natalie Gray Photography

 

It was quite an eventful delivery.  It's funny because Knox is my child who is the most active and hard to keep up with, but his delivery was the most uneventful:)  Love you Knoxer.

I was at a Mary Higgins Clark women's conference in Little Rock with 4 beautiful ladies.  We had joked that if I went into labor we would be right there by the hospital.  So, Saturday morning around 5:30 a.m., following a night of an exciting game of Chicken Feet, I started feeling really strong gas pains.  At least that's what I thought I was having.  

We had to be at the church around 8:30 that morning and I was able to get ready fine but the closer we got to the church the stronger the gas pains were.  I really wanted to be at this conference.  Clark is one of my "fave" authors now and she is so captivating as a speaker.  I didn't want to miss the rest of her interpreting the story of Ruth.  She hooked me the night before.

So, I sat there, sang through worship, and then it hit me.  I'm having contractions!  It had been 5 years since I had them and forgot what they felt like in the beginning.  So, I text Christy and told her how I was feeling and she said, "yep you're in labor start timing them".  Every 30 minutes from 9:30-12 they were coming.  Happily, I made it through the conference and actually was able to concentrate on what she was saying.  I even won a door prize!

At the end of the session Rachel took me to the hospital and of course I wasn't dialated because I NEVER do!  My contractions were still coming every 30 minutes but the doctor on call wanted them every 5-8 minutes before they kept me.  Of course, once again, my Dr. wasn't there!  We left the hospital, grabbed Chik-Fil-A, and headed back to Almyra.  

In an 1 1/2 of being home I had plenty of time to pack the boys clothes, change clothes myself, Ryan finished what he was doing in our remodeled porch, he took a shower, and I said we gotta go!  Contractions were coming every 8 minutes.  We even had time to stop and get Ryan Chik-Fil-A and eat it in the parking deck of the hospital:)

Here's the frustrating part...I got to sit through contractions from 5:00 p.m. -11:15 p.m. when they finally took me back for my C-section!  So, once again my whole family had time to get there and be ready for Thea's entrance into the world!  A lovely reminder of Sawyer's birth:)

Dr. Huback did an excellent job.  We were surprised when this sweet baby girl was introduced with SOO much hair!  Thea Grace Hillman, named for my Mammaw Retha Hughes and Aunt Gracie Duffel was born 7 pounds, 15 ounces, 20 inches long and so precious!  Our family has a little girl!

Seven weeks later she's still precious with a head full of hair!  Sleeping is getting better and the boys have adjusted great!  As long as we can keep Knox from poking her eyes and playing with her like a toy, his "Bee-uh". 

Whoever told me that having 3 was not much different than 2, LIED!  It is definitely a bigger challenge and exhausting, but I'm taking in all of this because they won't be little long.  Sawyer starts Kindergarten this fall and my heart is already breaking!

Now Ryan and I really do have our Hillman Trio and are adding to our tractors and trucks - hair bows, lace, ruffles, and pink!

2012 Begins

Things have started off to quite a full schedule for 2012!  As soon as the new year hit "we", Ryan, began closing in the porch with the help of Dad and David!  So things have been in a huge mess but starting to get back to normal with the living room, Thea's room and the "porch" all painted! 

Sawyer's 5th birthday party was at the bowling ally this year and he had so much fun.  He was so excited to finally be 5!  He's been waiting FOREVER!

We also had lots of family overseas for mission trips!  Jonathan and Walter spent 2 weeks in Russia, Morgan went to Kenya, and Kyle went back to Argentina!  All trips were very successful with a few sicknesses but everyone came home safely!

We have 2 weeks and Thea will be here.  I'm trying to really enjoy these last 2 weeks with just the boys.  I haven't been able to get enough of them.  Knox is talking like crazy and Sawyer is growing up too fast.  I had dreams last night that she was a boy and not a girl, OH MY!

Don't know if it's just pregnancy emotions or what but I've been overwhelmingly thankful and aware of how blessed I am with family, friends, church, work, etc.  Even through frustrating circumstances at times, I'm more and more aware of how God works and calls us to follow him!

Lane, Tate, Sawyer, Ian, Eli, Angela, Read, Olivia, Steven, Jada

Yearly bday measurement, he grew 3.5 inches!

Sawyer Reading to Knox

Knox is ready to work with Dad!

Watching Grandad work!

Yes it's winter and he's wearing shorts!

Steven Curtis Chapman soon to release 17th album, "re:creation"

Steven Curtis Chapman will be releasing his 17th album, "re:creation", on August 9th. 

Before I was even half way through the album it struck an emotional chord I wasn't expecting.  You can hear authentic praise rolling out of the heart of someone who has experienced the mountain top and thrown to the valley to be pulled up and healed.  Several songs will be familiar, hence the title "re:creation".  However, through his families tragedy and healing Mr. Chapman has re-created them to be even more powerful melodically and full of passion than they were before!

If you've followed him because of his amazing gift of writing from the heart and his beautiful guitar you won't be disappointed.  He'll definitely grip you with his new songs All That's Left, Long Way Home, and Meant To Be.  You'll also be refreshed and revived with a familiar hymn featuring his son, Caleb Chapman.  Then experience a glimpse of the Chapman families healing with Sing Hallelujah!   

"re:creation" is "perfectly, wonderfully, and beautifully meant to be".

-this album was sent to me for review by the {m} media collective www.themcollective.com

Matt Redman's new album "10,000 Reasons"

On July 12th, 2011, Matt Redman released his new album "10,000 Reasons".  Let me just say Revival Revival, Revival!  That's the emotion this album stirs.  If you've lost passion for your faith his heartfelt lyrics and driving melodies will make your heart rise up!

This is not a worship album that will leave you sleepy and longing for more depth.  Redman reaches deep to tug your heart strings, stir the fire, and remind us of the awe and reverence our Savior deserves.  You will definitely have 10,000 reasons to add this to your library and incorporate these passionate anthems in your worship services!

-this album was sent to me for review by the {m} media collective www.themcollective.com

Educating the WholeHearted Child -- A Giveaway for the Best Book Ever!

<i>Educating the WholeHearted Child</i> -- A Giveaway for the Best Book Ever!

Happy Father's Day 2011

Sawyer, Knox, and Ryan playing on the slide

My 3 guys posing by the truck!

My dad with all his grandkids!

My Father n law Walter with Knox!

I'm so thankful for Ryan and his love for being a dad!  Sawyer and Knox can't get enough of him.  He's extremely patient with all of us and does his best to play with the kids even when he's tired!  Thank you Ryan for being the example you are to our boys!

I'm also thankful for God's gift of an amazing dad!  He instilled in me so many things that have helped me grow closer to God and want to be an excellent parent.  

Thank you Walter for being the dad you were and are to Ryan.  You and Karen were always present for him and you taught him so many things about being a Godly man and dad!

Thank you God for these amazing men!

Knox is 1!

Knox is 1 year old

He wasn't real sure about his birthday cake!

Being silly on the swing set.

He thinks he's big enough to climb the slide with Sawyer

One year ago I couldn't wait to see what Knox would like like and act like.  He was definitely a bit more of a challenge in the beginning because he just didn't think sleep was necessary!  Thank goodness he's decided it's OK to do that several times a day!

Knox you've added another degree of fun and excitement to this family!  I'm excited to see what another year with you will bring!